Gremlin? Or not a gremlin?

Here’s something that I see a lot.

You have a goal – something  you really want.

You know what you have to do to get it, and yet you start doing anything else to avoid doing it.

Familiar?

I think there are a number of things that could be going on here.

*️⃣ The thing may genuinely be out of your comfort zone. Maybe it’s completely new and maybe there is something more to learn before diving in
*️⃣ It could be genuinely not in alignment with where you are in-flow, or your values, or just where you want to be right now.
Sometimes I’ve had things ‘fight back’ so hard, I kind of know it’s not something for me to do at that moment.
*️⃣ And of course, it can be the mind-gremlins

“All behaviour has a purpose”, including avoidance.

As a therapist, working with entrepreneurs, I see it a lot.
And there could be completely different reasons for everyone.

➡️ The behaviour is always there for a reason (often known only to their unconscious mind) and fundamentally is there to keep them away from something dangerous or towards something rewarding.

So, for one person it may be keeping them from success, because of an unconscious belief that success (or money sometimes) will turn them into a nasty person.

For another it may be because they will become visible, and that makes them vulnerable to attack.

For another it may be holding on to a belief they learned that they are not good enough, so better to not do it at all, than fail.

Similar to that last one and super common is perfectionism. You can’t do a thing until it’s perfect.

Often stemming from the need to please someone in particular.

I could go on…

There are many roots and the important thing is to treat each person as individual.

I would need to ask further questions to get to the reason for each person.

Their unconscious driver for this will be unique to them, even though there are some common themes.

❤️ Happily, we can ‘unprogramme’ this very easily, gently and quickly.

(That is assuming that the behaviour is genuinely unhelpful and not a useful way of keeping them away from something that really is unsafe for them in some way. A good therapist will check the ecology of this)

And if it is found to be something that needs clearing, it’s worth saying that it’s not just about ‘clearing the thing’, or ‘dealing with the originating event or belief’.

It’s not about ‘facing the fear’ or going over and over some past trauma.

Ugh!

Once the meaning of the root of the thing has been gently processed, and the unconscious part of their mind no longer needs that behaviour, it needs to be integrated.

People may have lived with and made sense of the avoidance behaviour their whole life, and so the new learning needs to be integrated into their whole being and experience, (again, this can be done so easily by someone properly trained)

So just dealing with the root is not normally enough to make the change permanent, that integration is essential.

Ideally, we clear at both an energetic and unconscious level. One without the other may not be enough.

💕 My advice would be to work with someone who knows how to do this properly, and can guide the person at the deepest level to gently dissolve the unhelpful behaviour and have the new way of being firmly accepted by and integrated with every part of them.

It may be easier and quicker than you thought.

If you need help finding someone, just email me. cathy@cathysimmons.co.uk
And if I’m not the right person, then there’s a good chance I can signpost you to someone who is