An interesting question came up recently in a Facebook Group about therapy and therapists.

The implication was that if the therapists hadn’t experienced what the client is experiencing, then whilst they are ‘well-meaning’, they are operating outside their sphere of expertise and should have referred on instead.

As you would imagine, I have some thoughts on this

*️⃣ Anyone trained at a good school will not be treating the issue, they will be treating the individual
And because we are all individual, we do our issues in different ways.
A skilled therapist will ask questions that will inform both the client and the therapist and lead to a tailored and impactful time together
This is key and means that we can work with many things we have not experienced ourselves.

✳️That said, I totally agree that we, as therapists, should not work outside of our sphere of expertise.
Any therapist of worth will only work within their sphere of expertise. We have people and organisations to refer to when needed and a robust supervision structure.

And a lot comes from our training and the quality of the training school, which includes the essential element of safeguarding and a supervision infrastructure needed to ensure the safety and wellbeing of our clients at all times, and give us the grounding to know what is in our field of expertise and what isn’t
As a hypnotherapist In the UK, we have great professional associations, the CNHC as our regulator and a mandatory supervision structure if we opt in to voluntary regulation.

I’m saying this to show that we are not a group of unqualified, inexperienced albeit well-meaning therapists who are out of our depth.

Of course there are people and schools that choose to operate outside of this structure, and, if you are looking for a therapist, it’s a really good question to ask.

✳️So – should we choose only a therapist who has experienced exactly what we are experiencing?

*️⃣When I specialised in helping people get free of smoking, there is no doubt that clients felt better about working with me because I used to smoke.
However, as I teach my students, this is double edged, because not every smoker is a carbon copy of all other smokers.

We do not do our smoking in the same way.

• The reasons for starting will be different for every individual.
• The things that trigger a desire to smoke will be different for every individual, the situations, places, emotions that have them reaching or the packet – all different
• Their fears around what they may lose by not smoking will be different
• And their reasons for wanting to stop will be different

So, when seeing a therapist who once smoked, there is a possibility that the therapist may (even unconsciously) make assumptions about all of these things.
It’s so easy to say “Oh yes, I know exactly how you feel”, when we really can’t.

I’m using smoking as the example here, but this sort of projection could apply to many presenting issues unless the therapist is fully aware of it (supervision helps here)

The key to good therapy is to understand how it is for your client, and not how it was for you.

Again, this won’t be an issue for a therapist with good training.
(And, I would argue, this is one of the reasons for the therapist to have specialist training in this area)

*️⃣The other side to this is that many therapists go into this line of work *because* they have overcome a specific thing, and they want to help others to do the same (me and smoking, for example)

And in this case, (as long as they drop the assumptions and projection), it can lead to amazing levels of excellence in that area, and wonderfully specialised therapists –
and I love that.

In fact I am privileged to have worked with some of these wonderful specialists and experts, helping them to build and grow their expert business. It’s such a joy to see what they create and the difference they make in the world

✳️ There may be other common experiences that will draw you more towards one therapist over another, such as previous line of work, languages, physical circumstances or levels of spirituality etc that may lead to therapist and client being a better fit for each other.

And of course, you may not gel – and that’s fine.

It’s all a matter of balance and integrity

➡️ If you are looking for therapy, have a think about some of the things that are important to you about your therapist.

Make sure you ask as many questions as you need to feel completely safe and supported throughout your time with them.

If you have any questions or concerns around choosing a therapist, email me or find me on Voxer @thecathysmmons

I was trained by the best, have many years of experience, in different therapy & healing modalities, and am a qualified supervisor,
which means I can guide you in the right direction, and recommend the best route for you, even if that’s not with me.💜